Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A letter to your best friend

This is so HARD! I have a couple people in my life that I want to write these too. I think that I have 4 BEST FRIENDS. And I am SO. Fucking. Blessed. so here it goes.
I LOVE YOU! You understand me totally and completely. You know my heart, and the things I do. 

You are an amazing woman. And I am SO proud to call you my best friend. Thank you for always showing me that there is no excuse for not succeeding. You have accomplished so much. I strive to be like you. Free, happy, and beautiful. You have a rare heart. You have overcome so much. I'm so sorry that I didn't hear your cries for help. I'm sorry that I didn't help you in your time of need. Really Shay, that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I hope you know that I cannot wait to see where our lives are going to lead us. But I know one thing from you. You will be happy. You create your own happiness, and for that I am envious. 

I love you sister. Thank you. You have been my rock through so much. I know that I let you down. I know that I have hurt your heart. But thank you for stepping in and being the mother mine could never be. You are my Shero. I am so happy that you have found Sidney. I'm so happy that you have given me the best nephew's and neice that a girl could ask for. Thank you for showing me that when life hands you lemons, throw them at someone. You'll feel better. Thank you for showing me the beauty in a struggle. You have overcome a lot of abuse and you will not let it hold you down. Absolutly the opposite. It builds you up.You know who you are and who you refuse to be. I will always remember you coming home from YOUR honeymoon to have to dry MY tears. Thank you. 

Oh goodness. I don't even know where to start with you Addie Marie my sandwich making non cancerous friend. I don't remember the whole thing. Do not judge me. Thank you for not judging me. You have seen me in pieces. You have seen me broken. Soulless. Thank you for holding my hand. Thank you for being there through everything. I cannot express to you how so sorry I am that I let Anthony tear you away from me. It was wrong and it was childish and I will never forgive myself for that. I'm sorry for being selfish in our friendship. I'm sorry for not being the girl that you have always needed me to be. Thank you for supporting my bad choices. For being everything I never thought I needed. I will always feel that you are my soul mate. I cannot wait to hug you. I didn't get to be blessed enough to have a sister, but the love that I have for you, I'm pretty sure, it's how a sister loves. Aside from my son, You mean more to me than any of my blood family. 
I love you,
Sammie Lynn.

Thank you for the continual love. thank you for understanding the decisions that I make. Thank you for not kicking me when I'm down. Thank you for drying my tears. I love you forever. You will always be in my heart. I thank God every day for you. I pray that you will get where you want to be. I am so sorry for your struggles, but I know that one day I'll get to hold your babies. I KNOW it. God is just waiting for the most precious moment for you. I believe in miracles. I also think he knows brittany and holly need some more random fun adventures ;). 
Thank You for understanding that my baby was a baby and not just a surgery. You wouldn't believe how many people forget so easily that it was a baby and just remember the surgery. You make my heart smile. I don't laugh with anyone like I laugh with you. Thank you Vineyard Hills for one of the best friends on the face of the planet! I am a lucky GIRL!

My best friends don't read this blog but I think I will eventually facebook these emails to them. 
How lucky am I that I get to have so many loving people surrounding me. Letting me make mistakes. Letting me learn, but to also be there when I fall flat on my ass to help me pick up the pieces. 

I miss them.

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